What are you Staring at?
by TribalVipe
Summary: Every time she asks him, he has no idea what to say. Instead, he wallows in his life changing realizations until he doesn't have to anymore.


A/N: This was an entry for thebarsondaily Spring Fic-A-Thon over on tumblr!

The prompt was: What are you staring at?

I actually like how this fic turned out. It's a little different than what I've written before and it's really nothing but a bunch of fluff with a little bit of angst. I hope you guys like this one-shot! I don't own SVU or its characters. Enjoy!

* * *

"What are you staring at?"

Of all the things she's ever asked him, this is the one question that's always accompanied a huge, life-changing epiphany. It was a weird question and it was always asked because he was staring at her like a dummy, but he would take looking like an idiot if it meant coming to realizations he would ignore in a different world.

The first time she asked him that very question, she was sitting across from his desk, passionately laying into him about him taking a plea deal without consulting her first. She'd blown up after he told her he didn't report to her, and that was when he had his first life altering epiphany.

He liked her. He liked her a lot.

He had only been in SVU for six months, but he'd come to know Olivia Benson in and out. She was passionate, aggressive when warranted, kind, smart, could crack a joke and take one, fearless, brave, and beautiful. That had probably been the first thing he noticed about her, and he wouldn't be surprised if she knew he found her attractive after that lame joke he pulled when they first met.

But, even though he found her attractive from the start, he never really liked her. He wasn't used to detectives being so take charge and in his face all the time. In Brooklyn, they brought him the case, did what he asked, and went home at the end of the day. For Benson, this job was her life, and he understood. Overtime, he began to tolerate her. Sometimes, he even preferred her presence over her other detectives, and it eventually got to the point that he preferred her presence overall.

But, this was the first time he was realizing that he liked her, and he liked her more than he probably should.

All because she said-

"What are you staring at?"

Her face was contorted into a confused and off-put expression and he realized he probably looked like a huge sap with a dumb smile on his face. The doe-eyes weren't helping, and he immediately straightened in his seat and waved her off, continuing with their conversation.

Later, he would think about these feelings further, when he was alone and had a bottle of scotch to accompany him. Maybe, he would turn on some music and sit on his balcony and just think.

* * *

"What are you staring at?"

The second time one of this life changing realizations happened, they were sitting at Forlini's for the first time since he found out about Tucker. Their relationship was strained, but it was getting better. They were able to look at each other for more than ten seconds at a time, and they were even laughing, cracking jokes. It was getting back to old times and that was what he was hoping for. After that mess and all the other mess going on in his life at the moment, all he wanted was some normalcy with her. Which was what he was getting.

Until he wasn't. Because at this very moment, with her eyeing him over the rim of her wine glass with her playful expression and a smile on her face, he realized he was in love with her. Totally, madly, deeply…

"What are you staring at?"

It took him more than a few seconds to recover this time, but he did and just blamed his dumb stare on the alcohol, and made a show of pushing it away. He quickly changed the subject and had her back to laughing at some embarrassing childhood story.

With that knowledge now swirling around his brain, he was going to have to sit down and seriously rethink everything he thought he'd already known. Things certainly had been jumbled and misplaced with Tucker in the picture, and now the careful rebuilding he'd been trying to initiate was crumbling before him again.

This was the biggest curveball he'd been thrown yet.

"Alright. I've got a three-year-old at home in bed and a boyfriend who can't seem to go to sleep without hearing my voice," she grimaced, the alcohol making her lips a little looser than normal. He tried to hide the grimace when he heard those words, but luckily, she was trying to put on her coat and didn't see him fail miserably.

"Well, let me walk you out."

He caught her just in time before she tumbled to the floor, trying to straighten her jacket and she chuckled, finding it humorous. He could smell the alcohol on her breath and he blamed himself for keeping the drinks flowing, knowing she never intended to get this intoxicated. Although, she did look happy as she leaned into him while he guided her out of the bar.

He insisted he Uber home with her and make sure she got into her apartment alright, which led to him opening up her apartment door and relieving Lucy, who was amused at slightly tipsy Olivia, fishing around in her purse for the woman's paycheck.

"Ok, don't be hungover tomorrow. You have a playground date with Noah."

Liv rubbed his shoulder as he walked out, but before he could completely exit, she stopped him with her hand on his bicep, forcing him to turn to her a little.

"I'm glad we're friends again," she said softly, a fond look in her eyes. He was a little struck, but he managed a response. A short, "Me too."

"Be careful getting home," she called after him, and he waved behind with a tight-lipped smile. On the ride home, he tried reminding himself that she was taken. She was with Tucker, and the overwhelming urge to kiss her would never be able to come to fruition.

* * *

"What are you staring at?"

This time, the realization hit just before he kissed her for the first time.

They were sitting at her breakfast bar, talking silently so Noah, who was asleep in his room just down the hall, wouldn't hear them. It was nearing one in the morning, and he had just gotten back from his three-week long stay Maine.

So much had changed since he quit the D.A.'s office, rented out his apartment, and took off to the northern state, and he had come back, looking refreshed and well-rested. The case…everything that had gone down…his almost guilty verdict…

Things had been going downhill for a while. He'd had a feeling, since the start of the year that he wasn't going to last much longer where he was. The yearning to leave and do something different had been on his mind long before baby Drew entered his world, and in some sick way, that baby was the push he needed to leave and rediscover himself.

Olivia had been sad and angry at first, especially when all of her missed calls and texts went unanswered the first two weeks. After he finally called her and broke down over the phone with her, she understood and begged him to come home. She wanted to see him. She wanted to talk to him face to face.

Especially, after saying what he said. He knew the words that came out of his mouth before he left her standing in front of the courthouse was nothing short of a confession, and he had been avoiding it ever since. Until now, as they faced each other, knees touching and hands laced together.

She had dried tear tracks down her cheeks and the tip of her nose was red, but he still thought she was so beautiful. She would always be beautiful to him, not matter what. She licked her lips and looked up at him, big brown eyes still glazed over and she quirked a smile.

"What are you staring at?"

His breath caught in his throat, her voice was soft and light and it wrapped itself around his heart so hard it skipped a beat. He had the sudden realization that this was where he should have been all along. Escaping to Maine had healed him, but she was going to be the one thing that would make him whole again.

He loved her. He'd been in love with her for so long, and then he told her that in so many unnecessary words and ran away. He was an idiot. A true idiot.

Well, no more.

His lips were hesitant as they brushed hers, and then they were sure when she pulled him to her by his sweater, her hands wrapped in the fabric and tugging him close to her. His hands were in her hair and down her back, and he stood between her knees as their kisses grew fiery and passionate.

The next morning, when she woke up, she stretched with a big smile on her face, the sheet slipping down her stomach and the sun through the curtains peeked in and traced the lines of her body. She smiled at him and turned into him, running her fingers across his beard before peppering his face with small, intimate kisses.

It felt like they had been doing this forever.

At least, they should have been doing this forever.

* * *

"What are you staring at?"

Rafael broke out of his trance as Liv waved her hand in front of his face, her boarding pass in her hand and her carry-on handle in the other. She was wearing shorts and t-shirt, looking relaxed for the ten-hour flight they were about board. She was smiling at him, and his heart swelled in his chest.

"Raf? Honey? You ok?"

He nodded and smiled back, slipping his arm around her waist and kissing her cheek. She hummed and turned into him, sliding her carry-on next to their bodies. There was still a long line formed at the terminal, and they decided to wait so they weren't shoved in a line with a bunch of people.

"I'm just fine," he said back, kissing her lips. She smiled against them again and pressed her hand to her chest, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the diamond encrusted band on her finger. Her half-lidded, dazed expression every time she stared at the ring that belonged to his grandmother on her finger was never going to grow old. It was a memory he was always going to keep with him.

"You sure? You've been staring at me an awful lot lately," she joked, reaching up to fix a few stray locks of his hair. He sighed, enjoying her nails running against his scalp.

"I can't enjoy the sight of gorgeous new wife in those jean shorts she knows makes me go crazy?"

She yelped and pushed him away when he dared to reach down and pinch her ass, looking around to make sure no one had caught that. She half-heartedly glared at him and grabbed her carry-on handle again, leading him over to the line that had grown shorter.

Once they were on the plane, he settled in his seat and watched as she stored their luggage in the overhead bin, her t-shirt riding up just the slightest to reveal her already tanned skin. He couldn't wait to see how dark she would get under the Hawaiian sun.

Rafael sighed as she sat down next to him, pulling her phone out to shoot a quick text off to his mother, who was happily babysitting Noah the entire week they would be gone. He couldn't help but think back to that first time in his office, when he came to the startling realization that he liked her, and how that like turned into love, and how that love turned into this.

She was his everything. His other, better half. She was the one who made him whole again after his world crashed around him. She was the one he came home to every night and he marveled that at one point, that possibility seemed impossible. Now? It was a reality. And if it wasn't, it was a dream he would never want to wake up from.

He chuckled when she caught his gaze again and rolled her eyes, putting her phone on airplane mode as the occupants of the plane were finally settling down and into their seats.

"Now what are you staring at?"

He leaned forward and kissed her.

"You. Always you."


End file.
